Mommy Guilt – Eeek!
If I am honest, this post has been written out of frustration. I’m so tired of seeing the words “Mommy Guilt” everywhere, soon followed by the question “How do I cope with it?” It’s everywhere! All over Pinterest and Facebook. It is something that moms are dealing with and confronted by all the time. But I feel like there is a huge chunk of truth missing from everyone’s opinions and solutions.
I was chatting to my sister this past weekend. We were discussing how hard it is to get a break from being a mom. It’s really not as easy as social media would have you believe. Culture says “Leave your child with someone responsible, go out somewhere and have a break.” However, even if you have left your child with the greatest care giver on the planet, you can’t turn your mind off. Being a mom means that you are constantly thinking about and worrying over your decisions concerning your child’s well being.
How is your precious child is? What have they eaten? Do they have what they need? Are they coping? Is your method of discipline really working? Are you really a good parent? Have you made the right decisions regarding “X”? You get my point! And that is when the “Mommy Guilt” sets in.
It creeps into your heart slowly and sits there like a poison. You never feel like you are 100% present in your work because your child’s needs are in the back of your mind. When you are with your child, work is there too, looming over your shoulder, waiting to grab your attention. What starts as “mommy guilt” quickly becomes shame when you realise the voices have changed. They go from asking “Have you made the right decision?” to saying “You can’t handle this. You are not good enough! You are a failure!”
The reason I don’t believe that mommy guilt is real, is because it is no different from any other guilt. It serves the same purpose and all guilt, regardless of the name, has the same core. All guilt comes from believing that you have done something wrong. It comes from the same realm as condemnation and shame. And those things… they come from Satan. When you hear “You are not good enough” and you feel like you are being torn in two different directions, Satan is the one who is behind those words. He is known as the accuser, after all. He is behind the chaos in your life. The master of destruction.
Guilt is one of the oldest tricks in his book. He is like a magician and he uses the art of distraction! Guilt is just another distraction to add to your day. It keeps you looking inward and focused on yourself rather than looking outward towards God’s mission for your life.
“Mommy guilt” becomes a burden that we carry around with us all day. It places you in the centre of your life and thoughts, along with all of your choices and decisions. It keeps you mulling over your actions and thoughts, it makes you look at yourself and what you can do better to achieve the illusive “balance” in your life.
It is so easy to deceive women in this area because “Mommy Guilt” masquerades as something sincere – wanting to do what’s best for your child. In reality, it is rooted in insecurity and the fear that you are not good enough. Lies straight from the devils mouth to your ears!
Do you want to know the truth?
Therefore, there is now no condemnation (i.e. you are not guilty so therefore you do not need to feel guilty) for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you free from the law of sin and death. Romans 8:1
The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. Romans 8:6
I don’t know about you, but I could certainly use a bit more life and peace in my mind. That tells me that my mind is not fully governed by the Spirit of God.
When our minds are governed by the Spirit we can say goodbye to guilt (in any form) because we know that we have been set free in Jesus Christ.
Do you want to rid your life of “Mommy Guilt?”
Then focus on God’s truth and the things that He says about you.
- You are complete in Christ! Col 2:10
- Jesus makes all things work together for your good! Rom 8:28
- You can find grace and mercy when you need it! Heb 4:16
- You are a branch of the true vine and a channel of His life! John 15:1,5
- You have been chosen and appointed where you are to bear fruit! John 15:16
- You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! Phil 4:13
“Mommy guilt” is just plain, old, regular guilt, made to look like good intentions! So lets stop giving it any authority over our lives. Lets stop talking about it and obsessing over it and worrying about how we cope with it.
Lets rather look to Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who has appointed us exactly where we are, and is waiting for us to bear fruit!