I have had this idea rolling around in my mind for a while now, the idea that there is a huge difference between a home manager and a home maker.
While I was working, I had a domestic worker to clean the house for me. As wonderful as it was to not have to worry about cleaning, ironing, dusting etc. everything always felt out of control and like stuff wasn’t being done properly. I would leave in the morning as she arrived and when I got home she would leave, so basically, I had no control over what was being done in the day. Sure, I would leave a list of things to do, but there was always something that didn’t get done and I felt like she cleaned around the chaos. My husband and I were out all day and we only really spent time at home some nights of the week and for a smidge on the weekends.
I found that over that particular time in my life my role was that of “home manager”. I managed the stuff that was going on, made sure there was food on the table and directed people to do what was needed to make our home liveable.
Being at home for almost 11 months now, my role at home has changed significantly. My home manager days are gone and my homemaker days have begun. My role is homemaker now and all that goes along with that.
You know, contrary to popular belief, scatter cushions and candles (as lovely as they are) do not make a house a home. Nor does food on the table or a comfy couch. You can have all of those things and still not feel “at home.”
So what makes a house a home? And how do you become a homemaker? Great questions!
A home is where your soul finds rest from the troubles of the world. That could be why we will always refer to our parents houses as our homes. A home is where your family does life together, and that my friends, is a messy business! It is not the picture perfect scene you have in your head. Home is where family fun happens, where children learn and grow and where you, as the home maker, get to sow into the lives of your family.
My dad bought me this planner for Christmas this year. I am loving it! But the part I want to focus on comes up once a month in the monthly planning pages. These 6 little blocks:
These 6 little blocks go a long way in making my house into a home.
The thing about your home, is that it is where your family and friends connect. As a homemaker I need to have a plan to intentionally connect with all the people that come into my home, that is what is going to make it a safe space for everyone who enters it.
Here are a couple of ideas to help you connect with the people who will come through your home.
Spouse: Do something for your spouse that would normally be their responsibility to do. (In my house, that would be taking out the rubbish – yuk!) Hand write a note or a letter telling them the many reasons why you appreciate them. Show your spouse that you cherish them and the time that you spend together.
Children: Let them teach you something that they are interested in. Play an outside game with them, let them see you relax. Do a craft activity together. Sing and dance around your lounge.
Family & Friends: Make their favourite treat for a tea time. Intentionally listen to them when you are having a conversation. DON’T just think about responding to what they are saying. Give them a “thank you” gift. Find something to give them that relates to the conversation you last had with them.
I have made a simple sheet that you can download and work through here. Use it to really connect with your people. Spend some time thinking about the people who will come through your home and about the ways that you can intentionally connect with them.
Wishing you a happy, connected home.